Life is always changing…

Sometimes…

… it feels like that rug just gets pulled from underneath you just like that. I am so glad the Olympics are over; don’t get me wrong I think it’s great a time to share world peace and a time to share everything but I really hate NBC’s coverage of it all. I know there are struggles out there and there are challenges every athlete must overcome but NBC’s art of making it all so sappy for every single US athlete is just plain annoying. It is even more annoying when we wing everything and don’t really give the athletes that truly deserve to be covered any time at all. I wonder about what happened to the countries that don’t have the same opportunities as we do here in the US? Iran had a woman skier for the first time ever this is a major break through in a country with so many other issues. There are many more stories like that we don’t hear about and that go untold.

I have gone, predictably, on a tangent. now I must return to that rug I have so mentioned. I post a picture here

Jax is being surrounded by Peruvian Authorities to produce filming permits while on location filming (Summer of 2009)

to point out how crazy things are and how I feel at this very moment. I know how public this blog is now that I have it connected to my twitter feed and vice-versa. I feel it has to be that way, to work with me you have to know me. I am a brutally honest person because I expect nothing less in return. I don’t care if it gets me in trouble more often than not but hey so you live and so you learn. At this moment I am at the fork of the road so to speak, I am trying to figure out a few things:

1. What to do for my final M.F.A. project and when I should start it.

2. What to do over the summer after all of June’s adventures are over (my race, my cousin’s wedding in Houston and seeing a long missed dear friend or two)

3. Where I’ll be in 3 months after some of the chaos of this semester has settled.

So where do I go from here? I would like some of the projects I’m working on to take off I think they really do have a chance like Spirits, and the robot and of course most importantly my company Freelance Jax. I know I have a long hard struggle in front of me to make that last one come true but I am ready for anything at this point. I’ve been through enough I will do pretty much anything to get that company settled on its own two feet.

So truly where do I guide myself through these points? I don’t know only time and my next few steps will tell.

On The Road

I so dearly want one other thing soon, it took me a long, long time to find the old post (My Retirement Post) and remember some of the goals I had set for myself by the time I turn a little older. As cliché as it sounds I’m not getting younger and I feel as though I’m loosing a battle of time and energy to move past personal barriers. I know that nothing really is stopping me other than myself. I can’t be really stopped from doing anything I want by really anyone out there so why is it so hard for me to take that next step? I have started slowly but surely selling off stuff I don’t need or use. I am now selling my old PS2 my TiVo and possibly a few more items as they come along. I really don’t use much of my stuff anymore except my camera, and my computers. Even the DVD player seems to sit there since I really don’t interact with physical media that much anymore. If you see something of mine that you are interested in make me an offer more likely or not I’ll sell it off to you minus a few things (I do have some limits as few as they may be).

So I do want to hit the road lighten my load and just travel for a bit, see some sights maybe go climb a bit get my self in shape live a bit like when I was in Peru and I was having a little fun out in the Andes. I would love to go back and see Cloud Croft, NM or for once actually see some other small Texas towns and then head up and see the Pacific Northwest to Oregon and Washington. Maybe stop by and see some old friends along the way and make some new ones while I’m at it. I wish things could be as simple as they seemed in the movies like the end of Swordfish.

I don’t know though, life is good that it changes and you’re not stuck in a rut. You’re only stuck in a rut if you allow yourself to be stuck in one. I say if you don’t like something change it. you have the power to see what around you can make it happen.

Later Days,

###

It’s been a while and I need a trip

So again I need more than 140 charecters and well this is the best place for it. After lots of thought of what exactly needs to be said it’s just one thing, keep life simple.

It’s been about 3 years since my car was stolen (it will be exactly 3 years in May). In that time I’ve managed to do some pretty impressive things on paper that does not mean that I am by any stretch of the imagination in a position where I am completely on my own. At this point I should be where some of my friends are. Is that path the same I should have taken, I really don’t think so.

As unhappy as I am and as bitter as I can taste I still am very happy too. With the way things are shaping up for some of my friends and the country around me I am very happy for the things I have. I remember everyday that there is more to life than just having that truck or having that perfect life. The things I am the happiest for are the things I have around me; a great family and an amazing set of friends. I am reminded every day of them being there for me and I am so grateful.

So the trip; it’s been two weeks of staggered spring break so to speak and neither one of them am I able to actually take a break from. The one that was my work’s spring break my academic life went into high gear; the week of my academic spring break I ahve so many projects I’m not even able to breathe. I WANT OUT! In the situation I’m in right now I should be allowed at least one day, one weekday, off and hit the road and travel to some remote part of the state and just relax clear my head and see Texas. I love this state and always will return in the end but for now it’s feeling like a prison. I am tired of Dallas, I need to get out for a couple of days and feel fresh air and sun. I need to get out. Ideally there are a couple of people separately I’d like to take with me and\or go see but that will be for another time and another day.

Best thing to take out of life right now in what seems to be the toughest times, be thankful for what you have. Be extremely good to your friends and family, those are the things that matter most in life and will be there longer than anything else for you. Finally be simple, there is no point in being put in a place only to compromise your self to unhappiness.

Climb on and be your self.

Later Days,

###

It's been a while and I need a trip

So again I need more than 140 charecters and well this is the best place for it. After lots of thought of what exactly needs to be said it’s just one thing, keep life simple.

It’s been about 3 years since my car was stolen (it will be exactly 3 years in May). In that time I’ve managed to do some pretty impressive things on paper that does not mean that I am by any stretch of the imagination in a position where I am completely on my own. At this point I should be where some of my friends are. Is that path the same I should have taken, I really don’t think so.

As unhappy as I am and as bitter as I can taste I still am very happy too. With the way things are shaping up for some of my friends and the country around me I am very happy for the things I have. I remember everyday that there is more to life than just having that truck or having that perfect life. The things I am the happiest for are the things I have around me; a great family and an amazing set of friends. I am reminded every day of them being there for me and I am so grateful.

So the trip; it’s been two weeks of staggered spring break so to speak and neither one of them am I able to actually take a break from. The one that was my work’s spring break my academic life went into high gear; the week of my academic spring break I ahve so many projects I’m not even able to breathe. I WANT OUT! In the situation I’m in right now I should be allowed at least one day, one weekday, off and hit the road and travel to some remote part of the state and just relax clear my head and see Texas. I love this state and always will return in the end but for now it’s feeling like a prison. I am tired of Dallas, I need to get out for a couple of days and feel fresh air and sun. I need to get out. Ideally there are a couple of people separately I’d like to take with me and\or go see but that will be for another time and another day.

Best thing to take out of life right now in what seems to be the toughest times, be thankful for what you have. Be extremely good to your friends and family, those are the things that matter most in life and will be there longer than anything else for you. Finally be simple, there is no point in being put in a place only to compromise your self to unhappiness.

Climb on and be your self.

Later Days,

###

girls….

So I’m sitting here thinking about what’s going on around me and I’ve realized I’m too broke to have a girlfriend but at the same time I’m not. I’m in the right spot to have a couple of dates and start sorting things out from there. Now the only thing is every girl that is amazing or at least has the quality of being a cutie pie and also has a great mind is taken. So I pose this to you… for all the girls that complain there are just as many guys wondering. C’mon every one let’s find each other. 

this is dedicated to the talented A.C. I met this weekend.

Later Days,

 

My Retirement

So I’ve had two thoughts since I’ve been in H.S. one I want to do before I’m 30, the other when I’m a salty old man and I’m retired.

     The first, before I’m 30, I want to complete a road trip with a good friend or set of friends. So far on the list from Dallas to Marfa, Texas, up to New Mexico a night drive through most of New Mexico passing through cloud croft, on to white sands for the next stop. From Alamagordo\White Sands a stop in Las Cruces and on to Santa Fe for the next stop. Finally a couple of days at the Grand Canyon for some climbing and various other activities. From the Grand Canyon it’s one of two things head to Cache OK and then to Norman and back to Dallas. Option 2 is heading from the Grand Canyon to Tahoe and then to Oregon and then back down to Cache, Norman and then home to Dallas.

     The retirement plan, to own a hole in the wall place for just my friends our memories and that’s it. I know it only happens in the movies, but after working on some and seeing how most are written and especially after this blog I’m seeing it being more and more possible. The saying, “You can’t make this stuff up” seems to be coming true more and more often.